In this article, Kelly write about something that all women have learned to do but not many men know about.  She is talking about their response to sexual advances and come-ons or, more accurately, their lack of response.

Bottom Line:

Women have dealt with sexual harassment or advances for so long that they attempt to ignore the instances rather than confront them.

Explanations:

1.

• I often talk about women’s issues
  • This includes dress codes, rape culture and sexism
• Women’s issues are inherently more of issues for women than men
• Therefore, most women are more aware of the issues than men
• From this, we understand that men do not know the full extent of the that issues women face
  • That being said, some women may not be aware of the stratagem of avoidance
  • This means that men and some women may not know about de-escalation, minimizing or quietly acquiescing
• Even if unknown, all women have de-escalated, minimized or acquiesced
• De-escalating, minimizing and acquiescing feels icky and dirty
• It does not feel good to feel icky and dirty
• Women do not want to talk about not feeling good
• Women do not talk about it every time it happens

Conclusion:

Therefore, “we do not tell our boyfriends and husbands and friends every time it happens.”

2.

• We do not tell our boyfriends and husbands and friends every time it happens
• Because we do not tell them, they may not know
  • They may not know that grown men stare at 13 year olds’ breasts
  • They may not know that old men hit on young women behind the cash register
  • They may not know of the angry text messages following a date rejection
  • They may not be aware of workplace sexual harassment
• They likely have no idea how pervasive or how often these things happen
• It is so frequent, so pervasive that it has become something we just deal with
• We are able to deal with it by simply looking away or pretending not to notice

Conclusion:

Therefore, “these things have become routine. So expected that he hardly notice it anymore.”