Go With The Flow
Everyone loves a good story; as human beings it is part of our nature that we like to retell events and share experiences. One of the most important aspects to telling a good story is that you have to draw your audience into a state of suspended reality where they become completely invested in what you are saying. This technique can also be applied to writing. When writing an essay you want your audience to be focused on what you are saying and take in the argument you are making. However, in both writing and story telling, if what you are saying does not come out smoothly and logically, it can force the reader out of their suspended state. Once jarred from the paper, the audience becomes aware of how you are making your argument, as opposed to the content of the argument. Poor “flow” in your paper can also confuse your reader, as opposed to a good paper where the rhetoric follows a natural progression. Throughout the semester there have been several areas in which I tried to improve the flow of my writing. To make my papers flow smoothly I spent my time working on how I opened and closed my paragraphs, transitioned between them, as well as how I incorporated my evidence in those paragraphs.
The first key element to ensuring that you have good flow in your paper is to present ideas in a strong, well-structured paragraph. In order to have a strong, functional paragraph you need a good introductory and closing sentence. In some of my earlier papers I had paragraphs that bore no individuality compared to the previous paragraph. I had one paragraph that opened with a sentence about the author’s use of logos in their argument, but the paper did not have a concluding sentence. Instead the paragraph ended with another statement, “Second, because the target audience is clearly fellow educators in
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the field of engineering, the audience is more likely to respond to a more quantitative approach as opposed to the emotional ending that the paper has” (“Analyzing the Argument” second draft 2). By not including a concluding sentence I lost the strength of that point in my paper. This early attempt at a strong concluding sentence can be contrasted with what I wrote later. In my Education Argument I wrote a paragraph that opened with “A big part of the current argument for the removal of Common Core is the cost of the program” and concluded with the sentence, “The benefit that the program has so far rendered will in no way make up for the undue strain that the “education overhaul” has put on the financial system of the states and the federal government” (“Common Controversy” final draft 3). These opening and closing sentences help tie the paragraph together and make the main point clear. When a paragraph presents a well-defined idea it is easy for the audience to follow the logic of a paper and understand where it is going.
Once the ideas of a paper are encapsulated in a strong paragraph, it is necessary to flow from one paragraph to another. Making a laminar transition from paragraphs to paragraph helps provide cohesion between the elements of an argument and allows the audience to maintain their suspension of belief. The transitions between my paragraphs were something that I tried to improve this semester. In the second draft of my Educational argument I went from a paragraph discussing the cost of Common Core to a paragraph about the problems with the American education system, all without a good transition. I finished the first paragraph by saying, “This is why it is important to look into the results that have so far been produced in states that accepted common core” and started the second paragraph with “It is important to realize that supporters of Common
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Core are correct on one front;” (“Common Controversy” rough draft 2). This abrupt change between topics throws the reader off and makes it more difficult for them to follow the logic of the argument. In my next draft of the same paper I was able to adjust paragraphs so that my new transition was from how Common Core was not the answer, to a paragraph discussing possible solutions to the problem. This transition worked out to be much smoother then the previous one, going from: “Just because Common Core was slightly different then the Education policies that came before it (although there are still many similarities between the two), it does not mean that Common Core is an improvement to the education system”, to “What then is the answer? With Common Core proving ineffective and the American education system in shambles […]” (“Common Controversy” final draft 2). This edit allowed for an easier read for the audience. By working on my transitions I was able to better relate one paragraph to another. Ending one paragraph and starting a second is often a point of breakdown in the flow of a paper. Because the ideas are changing, it can be easy to jar the reader and have them lose sight of the argument.
Even when I had neatly written paragraphs and good transitions, there was another area of my writing that tended to disrupt the reader and cause them to become confused. The area in question was my quote incorporation. Throughout the semester I struggled to smoothly incorporate the evidence and maintain the flow of my essay. In the first paper we wrote—our rhetorical analysis, I did not have any trouble finding evidence to support my argument. That said, when analyzing the authors voice, I integrated the quotes very abruptly. One example would be where I was discussing the author’s logos and dropped in a quote without any introduction: “the authors know what they are talking about.
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‘Paradoxically, although the degree completion rate for women is significantly lower than the rate for men, the grade point averages (GPA) of women and men were nearly identical (GPA=2.98,[…]GPA 2.88, standard deviation=0.561 for men)’” (“Analyzing the Argument” second draft 2). Not including any of my own ideas before or after the quote made it ineffective as evidence, and disrupted my argument. In contrast to this first attempt, I improved my evidence incorporation in later papers. In my most recent research paper, I opened the quote about Common Core by saying, “These standards were supposedly ‘created to ensure that all students graduate from high school with the skills and knowledge necessary to succeed in college, career, and life, regardless of where they live”’; meshing my own ideas with that of my resource helped to strengthen my paper, and maintain flow in my argument (“Common Controversy” final draft 1). Improving my evidence incorporation helped prevented a break in the audience’s suspension of belief whenever I included a quote, and made my essay easier to follow.
By working on the flow of my papers this semester I tried to become a more convincing writer. Focusing not so much on what I said, but how I said it, I hoped to draw my audience in and make them more intellectually open to my arguments. I worked and revised from the outside in, starting with the first layer of paragraphs, followed by my inter-paragraph transitions, ending with my quote incorporation. This method of examining my writing was fairly effective; however, I think that I could take it a step further. Rather then stopping with adding in quotes, I could continue my examination to look at my word choice, or my sentence structure. By continuing the process I have already started in this class, I can continue improving the flow of my writing going into next semester.
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Bibliography
“Analyzing the Argument” (second draft). VMI. 27 January, 2015
“Common Controversy”. VMI. 16 April, 2015
“Common Controversy” (rough draft).VMI. 10 April, 2015