Maxwell Horowitz
Mr. Hamilton
ERH 101
17 September 2015
As a writer I’ve always felt that I’ve sucked at writing and it’s always been something I would dread having to do. Although writing was something I didn’t enjoy I always thought that I could skate by and be able to finish with at least a B. I would always be able to get away with barely working this was until I went into my AP World course. Then I saw my writing change and my process change. I also learned a lot about how I would write.
I got my first essay in AP world within the first few classes. I didn’t study or plan my writing out as usual and when I had that in class writing I thought that it would be the same story. A low effort time writing and an alright grade would follow. Instead of the grade I thought I would be getting I ended up getting a 1. It was the first time I’ve ever failed a writing assignment ever. I didn’t understand it. It was something that never happened to me. I always had an easy time with making papers that could hit all the requirements, until then.
This showed me that I wasn’t going to be able to write like this anymore. I knew Writing was difficult and something that I hated. School told me that writing was formulaic and I never put any thought into my writing it was always done by the formula and I did the same for my history class. It wasn’t enough though for this new type of writing I found.
I always felt writing to be a tedious process and one that I dreaded when it came. This class made me think not only was I bad at writing, but my time of just following the formula had run out. I couldn’t just do writing the old way I had been doing it. I couldn’t find a way to make school writing something I could enjoy. Although when writing small things rather than essays like words of advice or having a conversation with a family member or through snail mail writing doesn’t feel like writing usually does. When writing in that manner I can feel writing to be a fun and sometimes even relaxing process because I know the audience well and the topic is usually something I enjoy or am knowledgeable on.
I think my feelings towards writing have come from my classes in school which I have always found boring and I usually have disliked my teacher for the class. I also find that writing for school and having to either present or have my writing be peer graded would often make me feel uncomfortable and make me not want to turn in first drafts or early essays to avoid having peers see my work. Peer editing or presenting for me was like SAW with the walls closing in. I would stare up at the clock hoping that the class would end soon before it would be my turn before the wall would close in and get me, but usually I didn’t escape and my fear about showing my work to others would follow. Every time at the beginning of a new year in high school I would hear the same thing from my teacher what you learned last year was wrong. It was always about how we learned to write last year was wrong and that this year we would be learning how to really write. I also was told a different method of writing by every teacher I had through high school and all of my classes had a different way they wanted their writing to be set up. I feel that because of this I gained a dislike for writing, but it also set up how I write. It changed how I write into formulaic way in which you would pick three points and write a paragraph on each and have they all linked into a thesis statement.
I do find writing to be comfortable and even enjoyable at times when am writing in online posts or when speaking with family or friends. When I do writing online it’s usually on forums or other online chatting areas and usually my when I make a post I am writing to try and help people or teach them a concept and solve some kind of problem for them. When I write to try and help others I find it extremely enjoyable and it is something that I try to do as often as possible. The other type of writing I enjoy Is if I’m writing to my family, but I think that I can find this writing especially relaxing and enjoyable because I know my audience well and it is a way to stay in touch and be able to talk to some of the most important people in my life when I’m far away from them.
AP world and its constant stream of essays in the gray classroom almost every day hit me with how my writing methods weren’t going to cut it anymore and while in a basic English class I could just skate by with my bad writing it taught me how things would be different. From my first 1 I saw on an essay ever as time went on things improved. While sitting in class dreading seeing the next failing grade my teacher handed me the sheet of paper back. I turned it over as I always would expecting to see a bad grade, but this time when I turned it over I had gotten a 6 instead of the usual one or three. My writing improved I had finally figured out how to make my papers more effective. My thesis had tied my essay together better and the more detail I put in had paid off. I finally had my writing going in a good direction. I was able to improve instead of just skate by, but it only took failing to change.