At VMI, we use the word “accountability” frequently. Most often, I hear it in terms of keeping track of  cadets. Where are they? What are they doing? How are they doing whatever it is that they’re doing? Are the doing whatever it is that they’re doing at the correct time? You get the picture.

But accountability applies to the faculty as well, and I forget that as I become mired in my daily routines. This is problem I share with the cadets in my class, yet I’m supposed to model the kind of academic behaviors I want them to use. In other words, in as the cliche goes, I don’t practice what I preach.

So here I am, getting ready to practice. But before I beat myself up too much for not holding myself accountable to my goals, I will celebrate the ways in which I am on task and do well.

First and foremost, I think I have been accountable to my cadets. During the academic day, they come first, whether or not they are present in my office. I prep for class and draft activities with cadets in mind. I seek or create leadership opportunities for them.

Thus, I am also accountable to the ERH department. By focusing on the cadets and my teaching, I am fulfilling part of my obligations of the department and the Institute. Additionally, I actively participate in committee work both departmentally and institutionally.

But where I have failed, or fallen short, is in the area that I love and why I worked on a PhD: my research. I spill over with ideas. My manuscript waits patiently for me to revise it. My World War II memory in the South has been well-received in its earliest stages at Cultural Rhetorics and PCA/ACA. So why am I not working on these research projects?

I. Am. Lazy.

I let all the other responsibilities take precedence over my research.

But my research benefits more than me. It benefits my students. It benefits the field.

So starting with the post, I will blog about my progress, whether it is writing a paragraph or revising a single page. But I will focus on the process so I stop feel bitter about my lack of production. And I will stop being a lazy bear who mires herself in self-pity while wasting valuable time.