Thesis

I stared my academic writing career in about 6th grade and ever since then I have struggled with formulating a solid argument for my papers.

  • a point that was to general
  • a point that was a fact rather than an opinion

Major Garriott’s ERH-101 class has helped me to understand how to write a thesis better through the revision process.

  • The revision process helped me to develop the skill of formulating a thesis statement that is a precise, arguable claim while at the same time having merit and accuracy to it. This ability will help me perform better on my academic writing, but will also set me up to be an effective Marine and Lobbyist in the future.

“But Major Garriott’s ERH-101 class has helped me to understand writing structure better through the revision process, which has helped me to develop the skill of formulating a thesis statement that is an arguable claim while at the same time having some merit and accuracy to it. This ability will help me perform better on my academic writing, but also set me up to be an effective Marine and Lobbyist in the future.”

 

Evidence

First piece of evidence:

The way I was able to develop a solid thesis on this assignment was through my revision process

  • I got multiple people to look over my paper to give me advice on how to fix up my assignment (Major Garriott, Mrs. Parson and Cadet Ayers)
  • I was able to use all the ideas they had and pick of the best ideas of them and put my own spin on their ideas. And then, execute them in my paper, which in the end resulted in a solid essay and I carried this process over to my next projects

Second piece of evidence:

Taking the lessons, which I learned from Project 1, I applied to my Project 3. Showing that I am making progress in the right direction even though I have much further to go.

  • Lessons from Project 1: In addition to meeting with multiple sources for the revision process, focus on the details of the rubric and if I am stuck on writing a thesis or I don’t think my thesis is very effective, then write or outline your body paragraphs first then summarize them as your thesis.
  • Project 3: I applied these tricks to my Project 3 and the result was good! When I meet with Major Garriott she told me I had “very strong start.” She still had corrections for me but no paper is going to be perfect on the first try but it was my best start I have ever made on a paper by myself
    • I think this shows I have improved with in the course of this year, since on my first project I got a 70% on my first draft and on my project 3 I got a 80% on my draft. (10% points)
    • First meeting I had multiple meetings before I could even make sense of the prompt, but on project 3 I only had one meeting. I think this shows me becoming a better writer because I am able to better form a thesis independently

 

Future

 

My career aspirations are to become a Marine Corps Infantry Officer and either stay in for life or get out and become a lobbyist in Washington, D.C.

 

  • Keys to these Jobs: Communication with all sorts of people effectively
  • Relating to ERH: Audience; You could be talking to Democrats, Republicans, superiors, inferiors, people who like you or people who don’t. But you need to be about to talk to them about your opinions and convey them in a way that they will understand. Clear Statements/Arguments; Conveying your opinion is simply projecting a thesis of your thoughts verbally. So me developing into someone who can create a strong, clear thesis will contribute to my communication skill which will help me become an effective and impactful Marine Corps Officer and Lobbyist in my future.