In the initial assignment of the year, Portrait of a Writer portfolio, we were placed with the task of looking back at our writing careers prior to entering VMI. The assignment called for a growing experience or experiences as a writer. It is these moments that help us realize where we are as writers and where we want to be in the future. The process began by brainstorming experiences in the past where writing had sort of “clicked” and in the moment it was a beautiful experience. During my eleventh grade year in high school I connected with The Great Gatsby and was able to write a successful paper on a particular aspect of the book—a success in writing that allowed me to see a more enjoyable and heart-warming process. When writing, I was able to achieve effective language and a good use of tone to convey the emotions of the event. I also did an effective job of describing the experience to a viewer in a truly modest and genuine manner. If would have been able to be allotted more time for the assignment, I would focus more on fine-tuning the paper in terms of paragraph length, conclusion strength, and speaking more to the tone of what I learned as a writer versus describing the greatness of the event. The Portrait of A Writer assignment allowed me to reflect on where I am as a writer and how I can get to a higher level of writing through focusing on rhetorical and linguistic details.
Portrait of A Writer
“What you said yesterday in class really was a comment with great substance and had a clear, concise point,” uttered Mr. Horner, my eleventh grade English teacher at St. Christopher’s School in Richmond, VA. This, I may add, is a paraphrase of the actual quote from a meeting with Mr. Horner, on a crisp winter’s day in early 2013. A year prior, I had little to no true understanding of text comprehension and expressing what a particular scene meant to me, the individual reading it. Now here I was having a chat with a man that to this day I consider as someone I look upon as a role model and have a strong relationship with, and he is explaining to me that I made a comment that was insightful, fresh, and a delight to hear from his perspective as a teacher. Wow! I had never reached a moment in my long—and roller-coaster of a ride, I may add—educational journey to where I was so flattered and in such a state of sublime. The comment that led my spirits to a new stratosphere was in relation to our current study of The Great Gatsby—it’s certainly no coincidence that this happens to be my favorite novel. In the coming weeks, I would discover a new element of life that I did not know could be enjoyable. I had never thought of writing as a completely horrifying and utterly painful experience as some of my peers did, but I had never been a skillful and successful writer either—to memory I cannot recall a paper or essay that had been deemed worthy great or even good writing. But all of this was about to change in the next few weeks and while I did not know it at the time, it would open up a new level of my comprehension and even the way I went about life as a human-being.
In the next week, Mr. Horner assigned—as he does every year to his eleventh grade American Literature students—arguably the largest and most complex assignment of the year, The Gatsby Paper. For some, this assignment stood as a death sentence to the academic success in American Literature but I knew as soon as it was assigned that this was an opportunity for me to showcase my newfound ability and passion. Everything about this paper felt right. It felt like this was the right time in my life to prove something, it felt like it was the right time to tackle a challenge that many of those beside me were frightened of, and most of all I had the confidence—which began a week or two prior—to not only do well, but to succeed in a way unknown to my conscious. I began to count down the hours until I could head up to the 200 level of Chamberlayne Hall and attempt to better my skills every day we had class. I longed for the clock to reach two-thirty in the afternoon on Wednesdays—our hour and a half long block period—to discover a new meaning of a new passage I hadn’t sank my teeth into yet. This was more than just a fascination with a book that I enjoyed reading and discussing, this was something that felt much more real and practical.
As I began to develop my paper on the character of Jay Gatsby and how he transformed his life based on the commodities of wealth and power, I gained momentum as I began to blend my thoughts and research together on paper. Just as I had felt the confidence earlier that this paper was a beast that could be tamed, my confidence continued and before I knew it I was ready to submit my paper. At this point I could not help but to think of the past and all the prior writing experiences I had embarked upon before this particular one. Never before had I felt more confident and excited in the action of turning in a paper. Many times before had I felt unsure, weak, and on certain occasions feelings of “I have put forth a failing effort,” but now it was different. The next couple of weeks were long and dreary days. Thoughts of negativity began to surface through my head. “Did I provide enough evidence in making a case that Jay Gatsby in and of himself was a fantasy and ultimately untrue lifestyle?” “How about my personal commentary; did I provide enough, too much, too little?” “Oh gosh, what if he hates it and all respect I’ve gained to this point is gone forever?!?!” These thoughts and others began to draw my mind away from the confidence and mini-successes I had experienced just a few weeks before. I wanted to know the result of the paper immediately.
After a few weeks passed and our first drafts were finally graded, I could not wait to find out the result of this paper that meant so much to me. Just as I had felt differently in turning in the paper, I felt differently on the day we would receive them as well. The negative thoughts and worries had danced in my head in the previous weeks but now my sense of confidence and overall calm feeling came back to me. When I finally did receive my paper, I was shocked to see the first sentence that was in the comments made by Mr. Horner. “Cole, this is the best paper I have seen in either junior section.” Again, Wow! I had once again impressed myself like never before. Of course the paper was not perfect and needed improvement but this had been deemed a good paper! Just as I had experienced a few weeks prior, I was elated. It had given me even more confidence than before and I was ready at this moment to tackle any challenge placed before me.
Did the Gatsby Paper that I conquered make me a good writer by any means? No. Did this writing experience correct all future writing mistakes and automatically transform me into a prolific, skillful writer? No. What this writing experience did give me however was a new way of living life. It gave me far more than improved critical thinking and writing skills, it gave me life skills. With this confidence I received, I was able to live my life in a happier and far more confident manner. In addition to the newfound sense of confidence, I also found myself to be more at ease, to enjoy everyday more, and to truly find my identity and what I am as person to the rest of the world. I found that through this paper—yes, this assignment for juniors in high school that likely will pale in comparison to the writing experiences I will have elsewhere—I was able to find something I didn’t know was a missing part of me, myself.