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Besides the obvious shortage of material within my first and second drafts to my final, I feel I improved on a lot. The element I feel changed most was the audience that I chose and my concluding sentences/transitions. In my first and even my second draft, my audience was both educators and students. This later changed to just educators. Also, strong (yet subtle) concluding sentences were non-existent. These changes impacted my paper in a significant way. During the drafting process, I had a lot of trouble with “closing” my argument. I felt as if I didn’t have enough source material to finish my argument. This however proved to be false. I indeed DID have enough material for an argument I just did not elaborate on my points enough. By adding concluding sentences and elaborating more on some of my points, I was able to create a stronger argument in my opinion. The smoother, subtle transitions helped clean up some of the roughage between paragraphs. Finally, by focusing my target audience on just teachers/educators instead of both them and students, I was able to tailor my thesis of “technology is a good thing for education” directly to them. This gave me an opportunity to make my argument stronger. If given the opportunity to complete one more draft, I would work on creating an even deeper argument. Despite what I drafted, deep down I feel as if I could have made it even stronger. I would also work on making better transitions between paragraphs.

The issue/problem I worked on throughout this project was if integrating technology in education would help or hinder the progress or process of education. The first draft I composed I wasn’t sure how to write or how to complete the assignment. Though written wrong, I did show all my sources and explained what they were about. Many of them were pro-technology. The second draft is really where I began to focus my thesis and my message. In this draft, I separated my sources into two groups: those focused on pros, and those focused on cons. What also began to develop was the direction in which my focused changed. I looked at each of the pros, those being that technology: engages students, makes learning easier, and is able to teach a variety of subjects at any skill level. The cons are that it is costly, has a steep learning curve, and is not popular among older generations. For example, parents are fighting the change according to Scherer. Overall, there are more pros than cons to having technology integrated into education, considering technology is always advancing and will never go away.

The article, “The Paperless Classroom is Coming” by Michael Scherer goes into detail about a teacher named Matthew Gudenius. Matthew is a “computer-whiz” who runs his class like a tech company; that is, he is an advocate of education through technology. Scherer goes on to say that parents are fighting the change. Other cities have employed education that is assisted by technology. One of those cities is Los Angeles. Those that oppose this change talk about physical ailments—sore backs, dry eyes, painful necks- all deriving from children using tablets and laptops (i.e technology) in class all day. The biggest opposer of the technological movement is parents. One father claims technology “removes him from the routine” because he can no longer help his child with homework. However, there seems to be more pros than cons to the cause. Pros such as engaging easily distracted students and helping young children increase typing skills which is essential in this day and age.

Works Consulted

Scherer, Michael. “The Paperless Classroom is Coming.” Time Magazine. 20 Oct. 2014: 36-38. Academic Search Complete. Web. 17 Feb. 2014.

The writing skills I feel I worked on most are organization and analysis of a text. They both compliment each other. At the beginning of the assignment (draft one), I was short on content and had a hard time deciding what to include in my essay. Since I was unable to thoroughly analyze a text or piece of writing, I wasn’t able to truly grasp the concept of what I was trying to accomplish. Once I was able to understand what the goal or intent was of the essay I was reading, I began to gain ideas. Once I had the ideas, I then had trouble deciding on how to organize them. Do I talk about audience then structure? Or perhaps audience, speech, then structure? The writing skill I feel I developed best is analysis. I feel confident that I can now look at a piece of writing and look for multiple things such as: speech, jargon, syntax, structure, audience, and the overall thesis. The skill that needs more work is elaboration on my points. I feel as if when I was reading my final draft I explained my analysis of the essay but not as much as I could.

Kathryn Tyler is a freelance writer with a background in human resources training (Tyler 469). She considers herself part of Generation X, which is the generation that follows Generation Y. Generation X being the children of the 2000’s or “millennials”, and Generation Y being those born between 1980 and 1999 (Arguments 468). In her essay “Tethered Generations”, she discusses how millennials’ dependency on technology and the relationship with their peers and parents that resulted from that dependency affect employers and the workforce today. Tyler’s background in Human resources would suggest her thesis is valid. She gives multiple examples and statistics as well as testimonials from other human resources professionals, writers, employers,  and psychologists alike to support her claim. For example, she provides a testimonial from Robert Epstein, an editor for Psychology Today. This essay is extremely applicable to myself and those of Generation X because it reveals the problems and tendencies of our generation and how employers may adapt to our generation. There is one enthymeme when Tyler talks about a male’s prefrontal lobe developing well into their twenties. No supporting evidence is given as well as any clear reason as to why this is valid. With the exception of the enthymeme, every argument or claim made is supported with testimonials from credible sources and facts. Tyler employs the use of logos rather than ethos, thoroughly explaining each claim and focusing more on the quality of the support for her claims than character. Overall, the essay is well-versed and well-written, utilizing no logical fallacies at all.

Having studied at the University of Recife, and teaching at Harvard University, Paulo Freire’s credentials are outstanding, proving more than capable in this subject matter. Paulo Freire was a twentieth-century educator and philosopher who advocated critical pedagogy. Critical pedagogy is basically going against traditional schooling and views learning to be best implemented by experience. Further, critical pedagogy advocated a new, albeit good, relationship with fellow students and the teacher, rather than seeing the teacher as “authority”. Critical pedagogy references and possesses many themes regarding oppression, society, authority, rebellion, and  deceit. It (and Paulo) view traditional schooling has oppressive to society. The source, “The ‘Banking’ Concept of Education”, discusses how traditional education is like banking; the depositor (teacher) deposits knowledge or information to the bank (students). It also talks of how this way of education doesn’t actually help because students are memorizing, not “experiencing”. Though different, this article could be relatable to many of those not satisfied with the education system in our country today, particularly those who push for education reform. The source offers excellent analysis of the traditional schooling system and its faults while explaining how critical pedagogy would be more effective and in Paulo’s eyes, morally and socially correct.

Education is more than just learning new things, or rather is not learning new things. What most kids today would agree on is that education is the measure of how much one can memorize, rather than a measure of intelligence. Despite the animosity teenagers and children alike today have for education, society still deems it important. Why is this? Is it because I would not be able to get a decent, well-paying job without an education? Perhaps. But that is precisely the reason kids (including myself) don’t particularly find education to be appealing or fun. Don’t get me wrong, education is important. Society should know their history, how to read, write and speak well, and be capable in mathematics. Though education, particularly college education, appeal is completely subjective, most adolescents today would agree that education should be tailored to what they want to learn while keeping intact what they need to learn. For example, in my own college experience I learned about ancient civilizations and their diets. This is something I had no care or passion for. I wasted time in both college and high school learning things that I wouldn’t need in regular day to day life that could have been spent learning about computer sciences (my passion in life). Finally, a change that should be implemented in the education system is survival tactics and defense training. The world will forever be turmoil, chaos, and war; in short, a constant fight. So, children today should know how to survive and defend themselves.