i like your introduction i think that is very clear and gives good insight to what is about to come, you still need to write these portions of the essay and if you do that effectively i think you will have a strong paper.
The paper is well written and I like the way the intro is set up and gets narrower as you read along. However, the thesis was not clear to me. I think that you have a great starting point.
You have a good start. You need to make your thesis more powerful and concise. Doing so will help your paper continue in a good direction. You should introduce near the beginning what secondary sources you will be using and frame your paper as well. As you continue to write, make sure you relate everything back to your thesis and answer the question “so what?” in every paragraph. The audience should not have to wonder why you included a piece of information. Keep it up!
You could maybe try to make your introduction more personal, now it is essentially a statement of facts. I like your second paragraph where you describe high school and how ERH 101-03 has been tough for you, as it has for all of us, due to it relying on thinking critically.
I like how you started out your paper, but I think that you should reread the second sentence, because it kind of doesn’t make sense. Furthermore, I think that you should write about why you’re talking about your literacy journey, and briefly talk about why it’s important to the past and future (and then explain in later paragraphs) in your introductory. You should also include things about career path you are working towards and how it’ll relate to your literacy improvements in your thesis.
Regarding your thesis: What do you mean by “active reader”? What “improvements” have you made in your analytical writing skills? I would also suggest combining those two sentences. Regarding the assignment prompt, I recommend including your future goal(s) and how what you’ve learned will benefit those goal(s). You should include this in your thesis statement. The body paragraph contains good use of past experiences, however, I would recommend using ideas that relate to your thesis, or changing your thesis to incorporate those ideas.
Your summary is very concise, which I like. The second paragraph gets more into the purpose of the paper, but I don’t think it answers the prompt very well. Include more about how you think your developments in academic literacy will affect you in the future.
i like your introduction i think that is very clear and gives good insight to what is about to come, you still need to write these portions of the essay and if you do that effectively i think you will have a strong paper.
The letters that you type made words. Those words mean things. I understand what they mean. Good write.
The paper is well written and I like the way the intro is set up and gets narrower as you read along. However, the thesis was not clear to me. I think that you have a great starting point.
You have a great intro and summary paragraph. I would bring some primary and secondary sources into play however. I cant locate your thesis.
You have a good start. You need to make your thesis more powerful and concise. Doing so will help your paper continue in a good direction. You should introduce near the beginning what secondary sources you will be using and frame your paper as well. As you continue to write, make sure you relate everything back to your thesis and answer the question “so what?” in every paragraph. The audience should not have to wonder why you included a piece of information. Keep it up!
You could maybe try to make your introduction more personal, now it is essentially a statement of facts. I like your second paragraph where you describe high school and how ERH 101-03 has been tough for you, as it has for all of us, due to it relying on thinking critically.
Will comment verbally.
I like how you started out your paper, but I think that you should reread the second sentence, because it kind of doesn’t make sense. Furthermore, I think that you should write about why you’re talking about your literacy journey, and briefly talk about why it’s important to the past and future (and then explain in later paragraphs) in your introductory. You should also include things about career path you are working towards and how it’ll relate to your literacy improvements in your thesis.
Regarding your thesis: What do you mean by “active reader”? What “improvements” have you made in your analytical writing skills? I would also suggest combining those two sentences. Regarding the assignment prompt, I recommend including your future goal(s) and how what you’ve learned will benefit those goal(s). You should include this in your thesis statement. The body paragraph contains good use of past experiences, however, I would recommend using ideas that relate to your thesis, or changing your thesis to incorporate those ideas.
Your summary is very concise, which I like. The second paragraph gets more into the purpose of the paper, but I don’t think it answers the prompt very well. Include more about how you think your developments in academic literacy will affect you in the future.