Research-Informed Essay
Technology has changed the way that we, as Millennials, communicate. Dinner conversations, tea time, and therapy sessions have been bombarded by technology. Children, teens, and young adults struggle to sit quietly for an extended period of time without glancing at their cell phone, tablet, or laptop. Sherry Turkle describes it in this way, “It all adds up to a flight from conversation – at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous… These are the conversations in which the creative collaborations of education and business thrive” (Turkle, p.4). In this generation, people are afraid to allow themselves to be vulnerable and converse face-to-face. They would much rather text, email, snapchat, or tweet their way through a conversation. The reality that they cannot “edit” what they say once they say it scares some people, like in Turkle’s book Reclaiming Conversation, “It takes place in real time and you can’t control what you’re going to say!” (Turkle, p.22). This vulnerability and fragility allows people to “read” you and get to know who you really are.
An organization that developed the “Communication Theory” emphasized the importance of body language when it comes to communication. Compared to spoken language, most of our communication comes from the body and the reactions that people have to a certain situation. One may blink his eyes in confusion, smirk when being deceitful or sly, and cross their arms when they are upset by something that was said. Now that technology has such an impact on everyday life, it is hard to see these gestures and examples of body language because everyone has their face stuffed in their phone. It is nearly impossible to have a direct conversation with someone without an interruption by technology. There are a few problems that we must overcome due to this reliance on technology. An interview will serve as an example to demonstrate where we are lacking and how we can improve our communication skills.
Interviewers would prefer to spend their time on someone who has the social development to sit up straight, look them in the eye, and hold an intelligible conversation. As college students searching for careers, these tips will prove helpful in interviews and will allow us to make a strong first impression. Millennials may look great on paper, but without the ability to sit with good posture, make eye contact, and use appropriate body language, we will continue to wonder why we struggle to find a career for work.
Technology has caused us to adopt a hunched over posture since we are always looking down at our phones. Our necks, shoulders, and backs seem to be sucked into the cell phone, tablet, or laptop. We lean forward and try to block the conversation we are having from those who are passing by. Since this position is normal now, with such an increased reliance on technology, our posture suffers. Communication Theory says, “It is good to adopt a flexible, erect posture rather than a stiff or slouching posture”. Those who stand up straight present a more confident appearance while those who slouch over tend to appear disinterested. How would appearing disinterested affect a company’s view of a potential employee? When someone sends in an application with their resume and cover letter attached explaining why they are fit for the position and how much they desire an interview, you would expect them to have tremendous enthusiasm. I can only imagine the disappointment when the interviewer greets a man or woman who stands with their shoulders slouched and sits as if they are hunched over a computer. Now picture someone who stands up straight, shoulders back, head forward, and their chest out. Not in an overly confident manner, but someone who you would imagine that radiates confidence. This presents a much greater image to the interviewer and would increase their likelihood of receiving a job offer. Now we can’t simply rely on posture to earn us the job, we must also make appropriate eye contact.
We tend to avoid eye contact with others because human interaction makes us nervous and vulnerable. Technology draws our eyes away from the person sitting across the table from us. That beeping, buzzing, vibrating cell phone that you allow to sit on the table ruins the conversation you are minimally engaged in. In Turkle’s book, she describes how teenagers these days have created the “rule of three” in which we ensure that at least three heads are looking up from our phones before another person can look down (Turkle, p. 19-20). For example, we are sitting at dinner, rotating who may check their phone, and refusing to collectively put our phones down so we may all engage in conversation at once. Now picture our example of an interview from earlier. Say the person who is sitting hunched over also places their cell phone on the table. Since Turkle explained that “even the silent phone disconnects us”, will that person be more likely to receive the job offer than the confident person who keeps their cell phone turned off and in their pocket? Arguably, no, because whether it is on the table or in their lap, their eyes and focus will not be on the interviewer. Communication Theory suggests, “In an oral communication context, the speaker and listener should not only face each other, but also maintain correct eye contact”. Correct eye contact doesn’t necessarily mean engaging in a staring contest with the interviewer, but maintaining eye contact, nodding, blinking every so often, and only glancing down or away occasionally. Improper eye contact will be mindlessly staring, interrupted by glances down at the cell phone or apple watch to check notifications. This improper use clearly communicates to the company that you would much rather be somewhere else. Although they improve our sociability, we can’t just sit up straight and make eye contact, we must also present ourselves as good listeners and use appropriate gestures.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “just be yourself”? In the interview setting, this is the most important piece of advice someone can give you. The employers aren’t interested in who you are online or what fake persona you put on for your friends. They want the completely vulnerable, uncomfortably honest, you. This is difficult for us, as Millennials, because we aren’t entirely sure of what it means to “just be ourselves”. Our search for who we are is evident in our social media accounts, google searches, and other sites we use that are available to us. We must take steps, offline, to search for who we are as people. The first step to accomplish this task of providing them the real you is to put away your phone and engage in what Turkle calls, “vulnerable face-to-face conversation”. It may sound intimidating to many people these days who find it much more relieving to have a text conversation. Turkle writes, “in person, we have access to the messages carried in the face, the voice, and the body” (Turkle, p.23). This means that interviewers will be able to see each different facial expression, the confidence or shakiness in your voice, and the relaxed or anxious reactions of your body throughout the interview. Communication Theory says that movements of the hands and fingers enhance conversation, but this can be in both good and bad ways. Overuse or exaggeration of hand motions may be too distracting for conversation and the act of rubbing your hands together signals that you are nervous. Appropriate use of the hands and fingers, such as small gestures, enhances conversation. Another important tip is to control your facial expressions. What I mean is to not overreact or under-react to good news. If the employer says, “you’ve got the job”, don’t jump out of your seat, but also don’t sit there as if they just told you the weather report. Stand up, shake their hand, look them in the eye, and thank them for the opportunity. Communication Theory suggests that “Paralanguage” is also a key aspect in conversation. Paralanguage consists of the sounds and gestures that maintain unbroken communication. For example, when you’re speaking and use “hmm” or a slight chuckle to maintain the flow of the conversation. Another example is when you’re listening and you nod your head, say “yes”, or “mhm”. This communicates to the speaker that you are actively listening to the conversation. These small gestures and acts of body language have been lost with the development of technology. An emoji or “haha” through text is not nearly as meaningful as a smile or short chuckle during a face-to-face conversation.
Technology has impacted the way we communicate with one another. Texts, emails, and tweets have all created a divide in conversation. It is difficult to sit down somewhere with another person and have a face-to-face conversation. The use of technology leads us to sit hunched over and with improper posture. The constant bombardment of notifications on our cell phones creates a generation of people who cannot maintain eye contact because it feels uncomfortable. Social media and online forms of communication take away the personal aspect of conversation. We, who are currently searching for jobs, should learn to avoid these habits. It is in our best interest to sit or stand up straight with our shoulders back, chest up, and head looking forward. Interviewers will be impressed to hold a conversation when we maintain good quality eye contact and show that we are actively listening to them. Also, engage in the use of gestures, present a positive attitude, and use appropriate body language throughout the interview. These suggestions will not only improve how interviews are conducted, but will allow us to reconnect and overcome our fear of face-to-face conversation. Although technology is helpful, social interaction is the most important aspect of human nature.
Bibliography
“Body Language.” Communication Theory, communicationtheory.org/body-language/. Accessed
13 Sept. 2017.
Economy, Peter. “These 3 Body Language Mistakes Make Millennials Look Really
Unprofessional.” Inc.com, Inc, 11 May 2017, www.inc.com/peter-economy/these-3
body-language-mistakes-make-millennials-look-really-unprofessional.html. Accessed 13
Sept. 2017.
Turkle, Sherry. Reclaiming conversation: the power of talk in a digital age. NY, NY, Penguin
Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2016.