Paper 4: Sample Student Essays

Help Received: None

My favorite reflection was Cadet C’s because his paper describes his literacy journey as just that – a journey.  His reflection follows a chronological structure that allows the reader to actually see his growth as a writer through his academic career.  For me, this made reading it really easy because it was just like reading a story.

Outline of functionality:

  1. Introduction – discusses his main points and thesis
    • defines his goal to be an Army officer
    • lists the three “developmental phases” he has had to complete to reach this point in his writing career
    • explains the significance of these 3 phases
  2. Idea #1
    • introduces the first developmental phase and his sponsor
    • describes what he learned from his teacher
    • how it influenced and shaped his writing; prepared him for career
    • identifies the shortcomings of this phase, thus allowing the transition into the next phase
  3. Idea #2
    • reiterates the strengths/weaknesses of phase 1 and discusses what’s next to improve his writing style
    • introduces second phase/sponsor
    • teacher’s comments and his reaction – how it further strengthened his writing and prepared him for commissioning
    • identified the biggest shortcoming – teachers’ bias towards conservative viewpoints
    • transition into Phase 3
  4. Idea #3
    • discusses how the shortcomings with the previous two phases hinders his career path
    • how the next phase will help him in his career – gives examples
    • discusses Phase 3 and it’s sponsor – critical comments from Maj. Garriot
    • explains why it all matters
  5. Conclusion
    • reiterates his thesis and main points
    • discusses how he thinks his journey is nearly complete and that he will make a successful Army officer with the knowledge he gained over the past several yeas

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *