I decided in early August that I would drive to attend the Cultural Rhetorics Conference at Michigan State University in East Lansing, Michigan, from September 30 to October 2, 2016.

Yes, I did. I hate to fly. When I told my daughter, Sarah, who is 38, she said, “I want to go. I’ve never been to Michigan!” She rented a Toyota 4×4 in Raleigh, NC, spent the night at my house, and on Thursday September 29 about 9:30 am off we went. The first part of the trip from west of Lexington, Virginia through West Virginia was great. It was a sunny day, traffic wasn’t bad, and we were enjoying each other’s company. We stopped often for snack and bathroom breaks. According to Google directions it was supposed to be a 9 hour drive…manageable with two drivers. What Google did not take into account was the drizzling rain and the highway construction from the Ohio River all the way to East Lansing, Michigan. It was the kind of highway construction where the road narrows to one lane for miles with those annoying concrete barriers hemming in the vehicles on both sides. We finally arrived at 10:15 pm in East Lansing, bedraggled, exhausted, and punchy to check into the Kellogg Conference Center. Needless to say we headed for the bar.

The hotel room was not as nice as the Hampton Inn, where I usually like to stay. It was cold, the king size bed was a bit springy, and the bathroom had the undesirable feature of a shower that was just part of the tile room. Sarah, who tends to be cold natured called the desk for an extra blanket and one arrived about 30 minutes later. It was an Army blanket! Nevertheless, she spread it out over the bedspread, crawled under, and conked out.

We slept late on Friday morning and then spent the rest of the day exploring East Lansing and grumbling about the drizzling rain.

Saturday  morning, unlike my normal routine, I rolled out of bed at 7:30 and bumbled down to the conference. The atmosphere was thick with youthful angst, outlandish outfits, and technical workers bustling up and down the hallways. I grabbed a cup of coffee and a very sticky muffin, planning to attend a session titled “Encountering Cultural Rhetorics: A Comparative and Feminist Approach to the Everyday”. Three young women Angela Glotfelter, Yuanyuan Li, and Chulin Zhang were the presenter. They are all grad students in various stages of their Master’s work at Miami University of Ohio and Michigan State University  respectively. The presentations covered teaching composition, Chinese American rhetoric , and exploring non-western  ideas of culture.

Next I attended a session titled, “Our Story Continues: How a Cultural Rhetorics Orientation Works in Student Publications, Writing Centers, and First-Year Composition Programs” with Daisy Levy, Marilee Brooks-Gillies, and Michelle Deal.

Rather than making this post a mile long I will write it in the next post.

See you there!

Students come to the writing center and tell me, “I have to write about slavery in the constitution or I have to write about the technical language used in the tennis community”.

Their draft thesis statements tend to look like this:

“Slavery is inferred rather than explicitly condoned in the US Constitution”.

or

“Tennis has a complicated technical language aside from the techniques and rules of the game.”

Both statements are facts, that could be illustrated by consulting a textbook, the Constitution itself, or a rule book about tennis. There is nothing clear to argue.

• A good thesis has two parts. It should tell what you plan to argue, and it should communicate how you plan to argue. That can be done in one sentence.
• No one writes the perfect thesis statement the first time. Write a draft or working thesis down after you have read your collected source materials.
• You should Anticipate the counterarguments. Once you have drafted a working thesis, think about what might be said to counter it. This will help you to refine your thesis. If your thesis statement doesn’t present an argument, then it’s not a well-developed thesis statement.
• A Thesis statement is an essay’s central claim. A thesis should not be confused with a topic, which represents only the subject area of an essay. A strong thesis statement must be debatable and there must be intelligent ways to disagree with it.
• A thesis should be as clear and specific as possible. 

Examples:

Avoid overused, general terms and abstractions. For example,

“Communism collapsed in Eastern Europe because of the ruling elite’s inability to address the economic concerns of the people”

is more powerful than

“Communism collapsed due to societal discontent.”

“The United States has a serious problem with gangs.”

Too general! It would require a book to prove. A better thesis for a short paper would be: 

“In Chicago, gang activity has hindered the educational effectiveness of the public high schools.”

The words Chicago, educational effectiveness, and high schools all serve to narrow the focus of the thesis, and therefore make the paper more manageable to write. 

This one looks like a well-developed thesis statement.

“Gang-related murders have increased significantly in the past fifteen years, and new gang member initiates are younger each year, making the job of

controlling gangs even more difficult for police.”

It actually covers three different topics. To narrow the topic and make the essay more focused this would be better:

“Chicago’s mayor needs to work harder to curb gang violence by increasing the number of police patrols in gang-infiltrated neighborhoods, pressing the

courts for stiffer sentences for gang offenders, and establishing an educational campaign to teach children how to resist gang involvement.”

In this one, the coordinated parts focus on what the mayor of Chicago could and should do to solve the gang problem in the city, providing a narrower focus for the essay.

(Adapted from http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/developing-thesis)

• A precise thesis can have only one interpretation.

“Gang life, which resembles family life, is fascinating.”

  First, the word fascinating is subjective. The answer is either yes it is or no it isn’t. A statement such as the one above is likely to lead to a rambling essay.

A more precise statement might be,

“Members of a gang generally interact in a manner that resembles a family, and the parallels between the two social groups are strikingly similar.”

Using precise language helps create a better argument.

Adapted from http://www.wheaton.edu/Academics/Services/Writing-Center/Writing-Resources/Thesis-Statement

The URL for the Wheaton College Writing Center is http://www.wheaton.edu/Academics/Services/Writing-Center

The resources at the Hamilton College Writing Center share these examples:

A thesis sentence that is too broad: The Catholic Church’s influence on the formation of labor unions in the nineteenth century was extremely significant. A more focused thesis sentence: The Catholic Church, by means of the pulpit and the purse, greatly influenced the labor movement in the United States during the final decades of the nineteenth century.

Note that the second sentence concisely summarizes a specific argument that can be managed in a short paper. It also sets up the pattern for discussion; the writer will focus first on the Church’s direct instruction and then on its financial influence. Also note the effect of using the stronger verb “influenced” in the second sentence rather than “was” in the first sentence.

In The Craft of Argument, Joseph Williams and Gregory Colomb suggest the following ways of deepening the thesis:

• To add a reason, include a reason-clause beginning with because, or if, or a phrase beginning with by or in order to (84). Because of their emphasis on the broad impact of individual decisions, environmentalists exhibit values consistent with the American tradition of civic mindedness.

• To acknowledge an alternative point-of-view or reason, or to limit the scope of your claim, add a concession-clause beginning with although, while, or even though, or a phrase beginning with despite or regardless of (85). Although Emma and Levin define spirituality differently, their self-centered perspectives confine them to a state of permanent disillusionment.

http://www.hamilton.edu/academics/centers/writing/writing resources/introductions-and-thesis-statements

The URL for the Hamilton College Writing Center is http://www.hamilton.edu/academics/centers/writing

The URL for the Harvard College writing Center is http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/

From Writing Center at Harvard  College http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/

Handout http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/files/hwp/files/bg_writing_history.pdf

As you compose or revise your history paper, consider these guidelines:

Write in the past tense. Some students have been taught to enliven their prose by writing in the “literary present” tense. Such prose, while acceptable in other disciplines, represents poor historical thinking. Since all historical events (including the composition of primary and secondary sources) took place at some point in the past, write about them in the past tense.

Avoid vague generalizations. Historians value specificity, not equivocal phrases like “once upon a time” or “people always say that….”

Avoid presentism or anachronisms. Resist the temptation to relate all historical arguments or concerns back to the present. Rather, investigate the past on its

own terms. Take care not to jumble the chronological order of events.

Treat your historical subject with respect. Aspire to understand, rather than judge, the past. Remember that historical actors were not privy to contemporary values or assumptions and that no historical generation (including our own) is perfect.

Paraphrase if you can, quote if you must.

Many students rely on quotations as a crutch, missing an opportunity to develop their skills of historical analysis. Instead, quote sparingly. When you do quote, introduce the source and context of every remark for the benefit of an unfamiliar reader. (See Integrating Source Material using Signal Phrases)

Provide necessary context. Good historical writing involves active commentary and rigorous engagement with the material. As a historian, you are responsible for

interrogating sources, interpreting evidence, and reporting your findings about the interplay of text and context.

Employ a responsible and consistent citation style.

Historians generally use footnotes or endnotes (in keeping with the Chicago humanities style) to provide references or supplemental information, though some assignments might allow parenthetical citations. Remember that your credibility and integrity as a scholar is at stake. See Gordon Harvey’s Writing with Sources and Kate L. Turabian’s Manual for detailed instruction.

Write in a formal, academic voice. Avoid using the first or second person (e.g., “I” and “you”), and shy away from passive sentence constructions. Phrases such as “I think” or “in my opinion” are redundant in expository writing.

Proofread, proofread, proofread. Your readers will thank you.

The Resources section of the Harvard College Writing Center provides guides on the following topics.

• How to Read an Assignment
• Moving from Assignment to Topic
• How to Do a Close Reading
• Overview of the Academic Essay
• Essay Structure
• Developing a Thesis
• Beginning the Academic Essay
• Outlining
• Counterargument
• Summary
• Topic Sentences and Signposting
• Transitioning
• How to Write a Comparative Analysis
• Conclusions
• Revising the Draft
• Editing the Essay, Part 1
• Editing the Essay, Part 2
• Tips on Grammar, Punctuation, and Style

Here I am in my second year as a consultant at the VMI Writing Center.

Already I am rereading material assigned to students so I can speak intelligently about such things as “discourse communities”.

Tonight I am plowing through John Swales essay “The Concept of Discourse Community”. It is not an easy piece to get into, but gains momentum once he begins explain defining characteristics of a discourse community.

I don’t mind admitting that I frequently look up words as I am reading. I don’t understand why people avoid doing that. Two words  I looked up tonight-

centripetal-A centripetal force is a force that makes a body follow a curved path as opposed to centrifugal. Examples: centrifugal =Mud flying off a tire; children pushed out on a roundabout. Centripetal= Satellite orbiting a planet.

Now I am trying to figure out why the creator of a Prezi https://prezi.com/bch_nql3fyvi/john-swales-the-concept-of-a-discourse-community/ decided to use those two physics words to describe the differences between speech communities and discourse communities. The slide shows this: “A discourse community has mechanisms of intercommunication among its members”
– members don’t have to be in constant contact
– members can, and have, communicated with each other
Not to be confused with a “speech community”:
– centripetal
– entrance by birth, accident, adoption
Discourse communities are:
– centrifugal
– members enter by recruitment, persuasion, training, qualification

When I have an epiphany I will add it here.

A high school teacher’s personal experience and strategy.

http://boardcertifiedteachers.org/blog/how-i-taught-my-high-school-students-analyze-complex-text

From Texas A&M – Guidelines for analyzing Scholarly Articles

http://writingcenter.tamu.edu/Students/Handouts-Guides/Guides-(What-Are-You-Writing-)/Academic-Writing/Analysis/Analyzing-Scholarly-Articles

When writing an analysis draft, students often resort to statements such as “the author did a good job…” .

They have a hard time understanding the difference between evaluation and analyzing.

An analysis infers the meaning or purpose of something; it makes an interpretation.

It is the process of separating something into its constituent elements.

However, an evaluation makes a judgment about the quality of something, such as an argument or decision

This post is an assignment I designed using the “Everything’s a Remix” website.

I have used it to get students started on choosing topics for exemplification essays or beginning to think about choosing topics for research essays.

PRACTICE IN ANALYSIS

This will take several separate days.

Go to   http://everythingisaremix.info/watch-the-series/

There are seven videos. Some of them are parts of the total “Everything’s a Remix” video.

1. Watch everything.
2. Jot down some notes of your thoughts and impression as you watch. Save those. Label your notes with the date.
3. After you have watched everything, write a paragraph about what stood out to you. Save it with your notes. Label your notes with the date.
4. Identify 5 major ideas in the full version video/ the first one titled “Everything’s a Remix”. Save the list. Label your notes with the date.
5. Another day. Choose two videos to watch again.  Write down the titles.
6. Without looking at your previous notes, jot down some thoughts as you watch. Save them. Label your notes with the date.
7. Without looking at your previous paragraph, write a paragraph about what stood out for you this time. Save it. Label your notes with the date.
8. Seriously, NO PEEKING! Without looking at your previous notes, identify 5 major ideas in the full version video/ the first one titled “Everything’s a Remix”. Save the list. Label your notes with the date.
9. Another day.  Compare your two sets of notes, paragraphs and 5 major ideas. What do you notice? Label your notes with the date.
10. Pick one of the major ideas you identified and re-watch the video to see if you have it right.

Write about it using all of these prompts:

• Keep it factual- only about the video ideas. NO OPINION!
• What was the context of the idea?
• What is the significance for this major idea today?
• How are the ideas of remix and plagiarism similar?
• How are the ideas of remix and plagiarism different?
• How is the video related to the exemplification essay assignment?
• What ideas would you adopt for a possible research project in another college class?
• What did you learn 1) from watching the videos more than once and 2) making a series of notes and writings about the videos?

Organizing Your Analysis OWL Purdue

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/725/03/

Visual Rhetoric: Analyzing Visual Documents  OWL Purdue

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/725/01/

Elements of Analysis  OWL Purdue

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/725/2/

Roane State OWL

https://www.roanestate.edu/owl/Analysis.html

University of Reading Library-Guides and Tutorials

https://www.reading.ac.uk/internal/studyadvice/StudyResources/Essays/sta-developessay.aspx

Video Tutorial University of Reading UK

http://www.screencast.com/t/T1v0QZeS

Writing for College  University of Minnesota Twin Cities- online text for anything a student needs to know about college writing

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~jewel001/CollegeWriting/home.htm

Analysis Ch 27 of the above link specifically on Analysis with essay examples

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~jewel001/CollegeWriting/WRITEREAD/Analysis/samples.htm

I enjoy this work so much! Each day I meet new young people and learn something new about the world. I learn better ways to ask questions and add more types of questions to my repertoire so I can serve students in our short sessions.

Today I had two opportunities to offer the following advice to students in the summer Student Transition Program:

http://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/professors-guide/2010/08/17/top-10-secrets-of-college-success

     Connect with your professor (or TA). The single most underutilized resource at college is the office hour, now available in-person, by e-mail, or by Skype. You might not have realized it, but professors are required to be in their office two to four hours a week to meet with students and help them with the course. Your tests and papers will go better if you’ve had a chance to ask about things you’re confused about, and, with any luck, received some guidance from the professor about what your thesis sentence should be or what’s going to be on the test.

Since there are fewer students on campus now, there are more chances to catch professors in their offices. I encourage students to take graded assignments to their professors and ask how to do better. If you are lucky you will have instructors who write feedback on your assignment. This is a gift and a valuable tool.

One method I need to practice more, especially when I meet a student who is reluctant or experienced with expressing himself or what he needs, is to allow the silence and then ask ” What’s going on in your head now?”.  So far, no one has answered, “Nothing”. One of my weaknesses is that I tend to impatient with taciturn or less than forthcoming individuals. I want to fill the silence . My strategy is to allow the silence and then ask a simple question. Another method is to glance at the clock and say, “How can we best fill the last 12 minutes?”.

I have been teaching for many years, but I still get frustrated when not much interaction happens in tutoring session.

I worked with a student tonight who had received a low grade on his first analysis essay. His instructor commented that he had written a summary rather than an analysis. What he identified as his thesis statement was factual.

I explained that a summary is rewriting what the story is about, but putting it in your own words. An analysis is breaking down the reading into smaller parts and examining it.

This may seem obvious, but it is easy to write several pages of summary and think you have analyzed the topic in depth because it is all factual and fills the page requirement. Summary does not go beneath the surface; analysis does. Summary can be an analytical tool, when used to support a point within your analysis.

 Summary and analysis are not interchangeable.

The student had not yet grasped that when you write an analytical paper, you should not be describing an obvious concept. Analysis goes beyond description into examination and explanation. You must make sure your thesis goes beyond the obvious to help you cut down on summary. Ask yourself if someone could reasonably argue the opposite of your thesis. If so, then you probably have an analytical thesis statement.

Students are often unable to distinguish the difference between stating that something was persuasive and choosing specific examples from the source text to demonstrate how it was persuasive (in this case a scientific essay).

The culprit (again) is concrete thinking. Concrete thinkers have trouble seeing the point of analysis because they basically understand the content and wonder what else to do with it. Since there are no simple solutions to the problem of concrete thinking in college, we have to be content with providing many ways to help each student make connections to more complicated concepts. The truth is many intelligent and successful adults can be classified as concrete thinkers in many areas. Perhaps each one is an effective learner and processor of information in select domains.

I get frustrated when I work with a student who does not respond or responds minimally to any of my questions or suggestions. I realize there are a couple of things going on. He may not be accustomed to participating in a conversation with an adult, it might not fit with his learning style, or he may feel intimidated. I always write down my questions and suggestions for students to think about later. I say, “This IS a hard assignment” and “This kind of assignment takes a lot of work”.  I always invite them to come back to the writing center and see me again or see another tutor. I tell the student that a different tutor will have a different style. I remind myself that the student will process our session later and in his own time.

I ask, “What tips have you picked up during this session” and “What are your next steps?” as well as “Is there a question I can answer or a point I can clarify?”.

I have to remember that in a 30 minute session I will not necessarily see a light bulb come on. I have to hope that what we  have discussed echoes what he recently heard in class.

I also have to remember that the student may have been hoping to find an “easy way” to get the assignment done.

The following link has four college level analysis essays that could be used to demonstrate what an analysis essay looks like.

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~jewel001/CollegeWriting/WRITEREAD/Analysis/samples.htm

One or all of these might be useful to show a student how the essay is structured,  how it is different from a summary, and the ways to connect points made with the source text(s).